Looking at myself

 

It's an odd thing, looking at one's self. Catching a glimpse while walking past a mirror, making eye contact when your phone screen turns to black, watching yourself in a video...

It is not something I have readily enjoyed for the majority of my life. There was a time after high school that I did not mind, and in my recent years I do not mind as well. 

In 2004 I was on the staff for a scout camp. Our leader ran us staff members through a team building exercise I will never forget. He had us divide into 2 groups, and one group stood in a circle, facing outward. The second group stood in a circle that enclosed the first, and they all faced inward. So there we all were, in 2 circles looking at each other. We then were instructed to just look at the person opposite us for 3 minutes. No talking. After 3 minutes we would rotate one person, and look at them for 3 minutes. We did this continually and even shuffled positions at one point, and after 2 hours we all had looked at each other for 3 minutes. 

The purpose of the exercise was to use an alternate method of getting to know someone. Now, this may start sounding all holistic and whatnot, but I really enjoyed it. It allowed for me a new, previously unused method of getting to know someone. Looking into one another's eyes allowed us to use non-verbal communication to boost familiarity and friendship. I loved it. 

After that experience, I one day was feeling quite down on myself about this or that, and was generally sad about the direction my life was headed. I felt I had lost site of who I was as a person. So, I decided to try the exercise on myself. I went to a mirror and spent a good hour or so just looking at myself. Getting to know myself. I was able to not only see what others saw when they looked at me, but also heightened my awareness of different non-verbal communications my face gives out. 

I now highly enjoy looking at myself. Not because I find my face so fair to behold or anything, but because it puts me in a place to better know myself. I can see who I am and know that my God loves me for that, and is not wanting me to look like my attractive friends. 

Overall, it is an exercise I highly recommend.